Open Mic Night, Thursday 18th September 2014, The Rifleman, Fourth Cross Road, Twickenham...

Yes folks, it’s that time of the week again (….well, it will be on Thursday…)

That’s right – Thursday night is Open Mic Night at The Rifleman Pub Twickenham and this week, as Scotland decides whether or not to vote for independence, we’ll be bringing you an extended Referendum special, drinking and singing long into the wee small hours of Friday morning celebrating the plucky Scots’ lucky escape from the horrors of Coalition Britain/commiserating with the bleary eyed, urine-soaked Yes Campaigners as they face up to their continued sufferance under the yoke of English imperialism, in particular the annual torture that is Jools Holland’s Hogmanay Hootenanny Hoe-down. In honour of the potentially nation changing events that will be unfolding on the night, we’ll be getting our host of regulars to customise some of your favourite old Scottish ballads in order to present a topical set list inspired by the auspicious events taking place north of the border. Lost John and Julia will duet on a specially rewritten version of the old Bob Dylan/ Johnny Cash number – ‘Girl from the north country’. We’re so lucky to have such a great Johnny Cash sound-alike in our midst. It’s just such a shame that Lost John sounds nothing at all like Bob Dylan. Then again, on second thoughts, perhaps it’s not such a bad thing… Peter London will be symbolically changing his name to Peter Edinburgh just for the night – although he still refuses to give up his jump on/jump off route-master bus or to take off the Boris Johnson wig for that matter. Someone really needs to buy that man a new pair of long johns. Wee Mandolin Jock says he will ‘Walk 5,000 miles’ to keep Scotland in the UK if he has to – a feat in itself, never mind that he’ll be wearing a specially constructed pair of tartan platform espadrilles at the time. (We’ve no idea what he’ll be singing by the way, but we’re hoping he’ll at least be able to give the ceiling a quick wipe while he’s up there…) Finally Caspar ‘och aye, the noo’ Sewell and John ‘see you, Jimmy’ West will be resurrecting their old Andy Stewart and Moira Anderson tribute act. ‘Andy’ has been readying his diamante sporran especially for the evening whilst ‘Moira’ will be unveiling a gravity defying new plunge neckline with matching haggis stole. So join your hosts to Say hello/Wave goodbye to the 5 ½ million. 8.30 for 9ish, on the dot….